5 tips to support your infertile partner during Father’s Day
Tuesday, June 15, 2021
When you are dealing with infertility, Father’s Day can feel difficult to handle. As it is just another reminder of your struggles with infertility. Often, women receive support because friends and family assume infertility is a female problem. In about one-third of cases, however, male factor infertility impacts a couple’s ability to conceive.
There are many factors that may contribute to male infertility including sperm issues, varicoceles, retrograde ejaculation, immunologic infertility and hormonal imbalances.
But perhaps instead of a source of disappointment, this holiday could be a reminder that hope is not lost. Father’s Day could be a celebration of the continuing valiant effort to conceive with the help of fertility specialists.
If a couple is already undergoing treatment, they can spend the day knowing it is entirely possible that come next Father’s Day, there could be a little one there to celebrate with. For couples that have not yet taken these steps, the holiday could be a nudge to do some research and get excited about alternative ways to begin the process of starting a family.
Here are 5 suggestions for supporting your partner during Father’s Day and making it easier on both of you:
1- Give him the opportunity to share
Because men are seen as strong and unemotional, your partner may feel like he can’t express his feelings about the situation. Let your partner know that you are available to listen to anything he wants to discuss if he wants to talk about how he feels and give him the space to open up if he chooses so. Having a safe space and designated times to either talk or not talk about the infertility journey is vital to the health of your marriage.
2- Offer him time alone
In most cases, men in emotional pain need to retreat to process their wounds. This might be one of those times.
Honor that need in the same way he’s honored your needs to be held as you cry, scream, wail or rage against the diagnosis that has caused you so much pain. Skipping the family scene today may be as critical to him as skipping a family event or Mother’s Day was for you a while back.
A little alone time might be just what he needs to avoid the pressures of a Father’s Day reminder.
3- Share what you love about him
Being a father is only one component of an individual. Take this opportunity to make a list and then let your partner know all the positive traits you admire about him.
4- Make it his day
Even though you don’t have a child yet, use Father’s Day as a chance to celebrate your partner anyway. Choose an activity he loves and go do it together. It provides an even safer space to get away from any painful triggers that day.
5- Be grateful for each other
When you can’t get pregnant, it is easy to focus on the baby you don’t have. Remember that you still have a happy, successful relationship with someone that you enjoy, respect and love.