How to deal with Experiencing Infertility?
Thursday, March 25, 2021
If you’re having a hard time coping with infertility, you are not alone. Infertility is not an easy situation to deal with. You may feel social pressure to have kids or feel judgment from well-meaning friends, family members, or even strangers. Some may offer tips that are not all that helpful or suggest that your anxiety is somehow to blame (not true). Here are a few tips on how to make this a little bit easier for you.
Don’t Suffer in Silence
Being able to pinpoint exactly how you’re feeling is sometimes difficult, let alone acknowledging it to other people. But bringing in a circle of trusted people who care about you will help you to process and heal. We were made to be in community. Tell them what’s helpful for you (to ask questions, to just chat, to go do something, etc.) We all need people to spur us on when our hearts grow weary. You are allowed to feel mixed emotions. You are allowed to grieve, to be hopeful, to be angry. You are allowed to acknowledge these things out loud.
Stop Negative self-talk
Change negative talk like “what if I’m too old” to “what if I’m the perfect age to conceive,” “what if I miscarry” to “what if I trust my body’s innate wisdom to carry my baby full term”? This simple tweak, the retraining of the brain, is a powerful way to double your chances of conceiving. When women do that along with IVF or natural conception, it doubles their chances of success.
Take care of yourself
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and refresh your spirit. What does that activity look like for you? Spa day, bike ride, painting on a canvas, or sight-seeing a new place? Take a self-care day, give yourself immense grace, and pursue after the things you love. Plan a fun adventure for yourself and your partner.
Remind yourself of the truth and your worth
Knowing your worth and your identity is important. Your identity is much more than your infertility journey. This does not invalidate the long and painful journey you’ve endured, but it serves as a reminder of your value. Every day remind yourself that you’re worthy and whole with or without a baby.
Change Your Label
Redefine yourself as someone in ‘pre-motherhood’ rather than someone who is infertile. There are so many options for treatment and family building (IUI, IVF, genetic testing, etc.) that in most cases, “there is always a way”.
Write A Love Letter to Your unborn Baby
In the long and lonely journey of infertility, often women lose connection with their body and baby. Many times, women long to feel connected to their baby but they don’t know-how. A beautiful, fun way, is to write a letter to your future child and share your desires and feelings. Begin the process by letting your child know that he or she is welcomed. Share how you met your partner and share how great life can be with you.